Guilty Conscience
by Tiefschwarz
Summary: Heavy post-war AU. Itachi is saved by Sakura, and the truth behind the massacre is finally revealed. They return to Konoha, marry, settle down and everything flows into the proverbial happily ever after. Or was it really happy, what happened afterwards? Behold the darkfic of doom.


**I've been always wondering how Itachi and Sakura's kids would handle the knowledge their father assassinated his family. **  
><strong>Even if on Konoha's orders - how does it feel to love a father who, as you know, killed everyone he loved? <strong>  
><strong>Does it mean that one day he can kill you as well? <strong>  
><strong>Or perhaps it's you who have the moral right to murder him?<strong>

* * *

><p>- Kaa-san, dear, and why are we only visiting your parents' grave all the time? What about daddy's mother and father? I'm sure they'd be glad to see we care for them, even after that… That thing.<p>

- I'm certain I've already told you, Fugaku-kun. Since they were killed during that massacre of our clan, all of them were cremated shortly after, and there isn't even a single grave left, for nobody was there to organize the mass burial.

- But mom, there had to be ashes remaining?  
>- Scattered across Konoha's forests, dear. Now, why'd you be asking me that, since me and daddy are here for you, and all our friends are a great big family – you're never alone, now, and all those painful memories are with us not to brood about them constantly, but to restore our clan, its glory and its power, sweetheart. We're given this pain of remembrance to become stronger. Go now, or you'd be late for academy lessons.<br>- Hai, kaa-san. 

* * *

><p>- So what, where're the graves of your Uchiha relatives, Fugaku?<br>- There're no graves, you, morbid cemetery-lover. The bodies were cremated. But it doesn't even matter – since they're surely watching us from the havens, and smirking at your strange assumptions.

- Oi, are you so sure they'd be smirking at me? I'm just being inquisitive. Do you, for example, know who assassinated them?  
>- My, it's already knowledge as common as the Sun rising on the east. They were murdered on the orders of Konoha military forces to prevent the take-over of the village government. You can understand, I hope, that it would only have resulted in bloodshed, can't you?<p>

- You bet, Fugaku-kun. But you didn't really answer – who exactly participated in the affair, would you tell me?  
>- Go ask the Hokage if you're so curious, and stop being so nosy about my past. I'm not all that happy about knowing that almost all of my father's kin was razed because some hotheads wanted a revolt. That's already disgusting, and here're your meaningless questions. What's your reason, anyway?<p>

- Meaningless? Fugaku-kun, I don't even need to bother the Hokage to provide you my reasons. You seem like not knowing who used a wonderfully sharp katana to slice the throats of your granny and grandpa, but let me tell you what – everyone knows except for you.

- You're being ridiculous! It's none of your business, who were those bastards, and you have absolutely no right to elaborate upon the burden of my family like that, mind this, please!  
>- Bastards, huh? So you reckon there was an assassinating squad sent?<br>- Geez, of course there was. Some ANBU or Root units, I suppose…

- You fail at your guesses. There were no squads, but a single person – and everyone knows his name, _mind this_. I'm just being curious how come you're old enough and still being innocent as a newborn kitten?  
>- This ain't funny anymore, I'm leaving. I have no slightest desire to see inside your obnoxious implications, and I'd better remain a newborn kitten that listen to rubbish from you. It's just rude, above all things. Get away, I'm being late for shuriken practice now.<br>- Oi, so you still deem your precious daddy being completely out of the scene?

* * *

><p>- Fugaku-kun, I forbade you to use the sharingan against your friends how many times, remind me, please? It's impossibly reckless of an Uchiha heir let alone it's dangerous and can be used only as a matter of defense! Poor kids, now your mom has to spend sleepless nights at the hospital bringing back whatever sanity you magnanimously left them.<p>

- But daddy, I did use it for defense! They dared badmouthing you. I just couldn't silently sit and hear all those ugly stories every other day – I had to shut their filthy jaws.  
>- What kind of defaming was it, son?<br>- They said you took part in the massacre of our clan! They are mad, tou-san, completely mad! You were what, thirteen at that time? Even younger than I am now. How come that deranged thought even originated in their worthless brains? So dad, I assume I had the right to teach them a lesson.

- No, Fugaku, you never had and will never have this right. For it's not a right, it is a curse. I knew the time would come, eventually, and I tried many times to prepare for this conversation. Only I didn't expect this aspect of our history being brought up as an offence.

- What sort of conversation, tou-san? Don't tell me you knew I'd lash out on those jerks!  
>- I didn't have even a slightest idea on this, son. I expected your bringing-up was worth than such silly outbursts. I admit this must have been my mistake.<p>

- Dad, you never make mistakes, forgot? Anyway, what's the conversation you're planning? Please, don't play around like I'm a kid for I'm not - I'm adult enough to get the true meaning of your usual diplomatic eloquences.  
>- Fine to know this, Fugaku-kun. If you want to hear this so badly you should accept the fact you behaved utterly wrong with your friends. Accept this and apologize.<br>- But dad, they're a bunch of slanderers!  
>- Unfortunately, they are not.<p>

* * *

><p>- Absolutely no way! You must be kidding, no, dad, seriously, what got into you to repeat this rubbish? Ah, I know, you're testing my maturity, no, dad, I won't give in your lies now, and never, because I know the truth and you can't be telling me this right now, it's some weird kind of a test, am I right?<p>

Sure, dad, I know your ways, you must be just checking my emotional conditions, now, yes, sorry, I'm flushed, and that's improper of an Uchiha, but I can't just listen indifferently to you slandering yourself

* * *

><p>- Itachi, where's Fugaku-kun? I had hard times curing those poor things from the outcomes of his sharingan. As mighty as yours, isn't it? Anyways, I guess I'll have to punish him for such serious misbehavior. Or have you talked to him already, a good man's talk? I'm just afraid I won't be able to act stern with him; you know I never managed to. But we can't let him harming people around anymore, can we, Itachi?<p>

- He's upstairs, faking sleep. Sakura, I showed him the Mangekyo.  
>- Good havens, why, Itachi? Is it time for him to learn to use it already? But he's too young and his vision might start deteriorating just as yours! What were you even thinking about?<br>- Sakura, not the use of Mangekyo. The memories of it. The massacre. Stubborn like his mother, he wouldn't believe it otherwise.

* * *

><p>Fugaku, come downstairs, please, it's time for supper!<p>

- I'm not hungry.

* * *

><p>- Itachi, he secluded himself in the room and I don't know a way to get him out other than to smash half of the compound into pieces, you know, my chakra punch was never quite delicate.<br>- Amaterasu could do the dirty work, I guess. No, don't give me that look – we're going to save him, don't we?

* * *

><p>- What the..?<br>- Calm down, Fugaku, it's alright, it's just your dad's Amaterasu.  
>- Sit down, son, we need to talk now.<p>

- Mom, how could you? I mean, dad, you could fake this vision, couldn't you? You can't be the same person I've seen slaughtering our relatives like they were livestock! Why are you tormenting me now with this knowledge that just can't be the truth, what have I done so wrong for you to show me this – it can't be, never could be, those idiots just wanted to mock me, you couldn't just invent this vision for testing me, dad, could you?

- Fugaku, inhale. The carnage took place right as you've seen it happening. What else could I do to convince you?  
>- To convince me that my beloved dad is a ruthless murderer? Isn't it insane, dad, mom, what's going on, why are you even being so calm about this, if it is true? You, mom, how can you sit on the same couch with a merciless homicide, if it is what they are saying about my dad, and now you're saying it as well! Why don't you run away, or punch him with your famous right-hand kick, or use your chakra blades to stop the life of a murderer?<br>You only don't do it because he isn't one; mother, please, say anything!

- Regardless Itachi's past I love him nonetheless with all my heart and I swore to care, save and protect his being in future, and am now proceeding to do so.  
>He <em>is<em> the murderer, Fugaku, for he's an ANBU first and foremost, and this is his _job_, of all things.  
>We're not civilians, Fugaku, but shinobi who see death, and who welcome death. And I believe you're mature enough to understand that he never, <em>never<em> wanted to kill our clan, but he couldn't disobey the orders just as well.

Please, Fugaku, listen to me – we're shinobi, like I told you, and we're not living for our own pleasure, but to serve the village. You see, the village – it is above your personality, above your heart, above the bonds and family. The well-being of people is higher than the love for your parents.  
>Itachi could not show disobedience – it would end his life as a loyal shinobi.<p>

- Yet he managed to perfectly disobey his own family!  
>- Fugaku, this was no disobedience. I didn't want to participate in the revolt. And neither to participate in the massacre – but if I declined the orders, they'd definitely would have slaughtered everyone including Sasuke. He was my only brother and the only innocent person in that snake's nest that was our clan!<p>

All of it was for the sake of Sasuke. He was only an innocent kid, not involved in the plotting, and I couldn't watch him being killed if another ANBU was tasked to do it but me. I had to save his life – so he'd avenge our clan and kill me instead. I know my guilt, and believe me; I will never be free of this burden. I wanted him to grow up strong and begin new history of our clan.

- But all your dreams failed, didn't they? See where is he now? See how the clan is being restored? And by the way, see how much he avenged our family – you are still alive and indeed healthy, although you wanted to be killed by him, if I get it right? Then where are you hiding the truth I still can't discern?  
>Why is it you're alive and prospering, and married to the best woman in the world, and even dare giving life to spawn of yours?<p>

Sure I am your spawn, if you're a murderer you so much want me to believe you are! I have no right to live, because it's against all morals for you to have ever procreated!

- Fugaku, calm down, please! True I intended for Sasuke to start a family and close that page already – but don't you see how it all turned out, now? You can't blame me for obeying the orders, neither for loving your mother and wanting to make her the happiest woman in the world.  
>If she accepted me with so much blood smeared on my hands, why can't you do it now? We're not making you to do it immediately, Fugaku, just take your time to understand I had no other choice other than obey.<p>

- No other choice other than to kill your parents, is it? Ah, sure, mom, would you mind me killing you for the sake of my brother, I don't care he's unborn yet and would surely die if I killed you, but anyways? So, how smart does it sound?

And you say you did it for Sasuke, yeah? But Sasuke is dead!  
>What were the means of your so called sacrifice since he's rotting somewhere far from here and definitely not able to restore the clan? What was the use of it all?<p>

You could have fled, betrayed that sick Danzo bastard, helped our clan in whatever revolt they were planning – they all could live by now! Well, may be some would die in the carnage they planned, but anyways, dad, there'd be all Uchihas everywhere around us! A mighty, prosperous clan you slaughtered only because you were _ordered_.

And again you say it was to save Sasuke! I've never known him but from what I heard Naruto-san remembering, he was one big asshole of a younger brother, or wasn't he?  
>Would you deny the fact that from what Naruto-san says, he abandoned my mother, defected from our village, became an international criminal, bathed in blood just like his older sibling – and you saved his worthless life to witness all of his ugly deeds?<p>

I don't care if he assisted in the destruction of Akatsuki that you so much dislike to remember.  
>I don't care if in the last flashing moments of his life he grew some brains to understand the shit he'd gotten himself into – but I care about you, dad, about your stupid actions that day – tell me, was your brother worth the lives of all our clan? Really, was he?<p>

* * *

><p>Dear mother, dear father!<br>I love you with all my heart.  
>I respect you and I truly wanted to be a deserving heir to the Uchiha clan.<p>

But I can't shut my conscience up and swallow the fact that I'm living a happy life on the bones (that aren't even left in this world, not even a single ash!) of my family. That I am a love child of a couple that could have never been formed if my family was alive.  
>Thus I have no logic right for existence. I admit I was happy in ignorance, but I'm happier now that I know the truth and all those meaningful smirks and muffled talks behind my back.<p>

I am a mistake and therefore have no right to restore the clan – neither do you.

As much as I love you, I refuse to live a life based on slaughter that can never be atoned.  
>I know you would forgive my impudent attempt for redemption.<br>I love you and I always will.

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful summer day, hazy and flourishing with delicious aromas.<br>The birds were chirping, and no cloud stained the perfect clarity of eternal blue sky.

They were clad in pristine whites, glistening pink locks being the only bright spot in the mass of white figures, white faces, white hands holding white chrysanthemums.

No words were said in favour of mourning silence.  
>No words needed to be said.<br>They all knew and they all couldn't do a thing about it.

* * *

><p>The next day Sakura had a miscarriage.<p> 


End file.
